its 0314am now, on a friday.
thank god it's friday.
gastric pain now, but i can't sleep, yet no medicine.
i won't be heading to school later.
because there won't be students attending lessons as predicted.
and i've already done the revision papers.
thank you mrs sim, for such good feedback.
Let me speak,
don't comment anything in your blog,
nor write anything in my tagboard.
or i will lock this blog up, once again.
maybe alex's right. i'm stupid.
actually, i do realise that no one will believe me since i failed 2 retake subs out of 3.
During the exam period, i did play.
During the exam period, i did meet my friends.
However, i did study. i tried my best.
and i really mean that its my best.
i've studied even harder than before.
giving up my Accounting lessons just for maths.
giving up my breaks, not enjoying much, to learn more about maths.
and i really have to thank sihao and angela for this.
however, i improved by only 2 grades. and still ended up, with a borderline fail.
i still failed science, borderline.
but i passed my accounting.
Got courses for poly, but my dad didn't want me to switch from what i was studying.
so i gave up applying for poly.
but, i did fail, didn't i?
that's why, people won't believe me even the slightest bit that i did study.
they only think, that i play more.
i didn't study.
who will believe that i did study? because i'm still stuck in college east.
i wanted the best support, but it came and went off.
i don't even have the best support that i wanted now.
because i disappointed my support, twice.
even if i have tried my best, i don't get the belief that i wanted.
now i know, in people's eye, no matter how hard i tried,
because i failed, they feel that i didn't study.
alex, maybe you're right. im stupid.
most of the time, i really have no intention to make anyone angry.
i just say, even if i think from my brain,
it will still be wrong.
when i just want to comment or say something, people will misunderstand me,
then it seems like im trying to provoke them.
why? why can't it be because i just say, but i have no intention of provoking you?
i've tried so hard to change, even there is a little bit of change,
to others, maybe i'm still the same. i make you guys angry,
i make you guys disappointed at me.
i have a forgetful mind everyone.
when i ask you questions, i tend to keep asking,
because usually, i swear i've really forgotten that i ask,
or i dont get the answer i want.
if you don't believe me,
there's nothing i can do.
i feel myself falling.
tears are falling too.
i've never gone ice skating,
i've went underwater world only once.
i havent' gone to the zoo since i was p4.
i've never seen sunrise.
seldom see sunset.
never sat down on the floor looking at stars.
someday, i will pamper myself by buying the biggest teddy bear i've seen, that costs a thousand.
provided, i have a place to put.
i cannot lose anyone, especially you.
i've fallen again.
old injury.
but it doesnt hurt as much as anyone not believing me.
Nineteen 
